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Please welcome Janice (aka ICE) from Ice+Clink+Drink today as our featured mom and guest blogger. Here she schools MamaBloo on the much much very much super mucho needed girls weekend… something I have not taken full advantage of, for sure. And don’t skip the drink recipe at the end!!! Enjoy!
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We love our husbands and kids…we really do. But sometimes we just have to get away with our friends.
My trips are usually with my husband for scuba diving or with the kids to amusement parks or the beach. But we still have a conflict in interests – I like cocktails and interesting food and taking in a new city; my husband likes golf and blackjack; the kids, well, they like McDonalds, costumed characters and infrequent baths. A girls’ getaway means I can indulge my interests with like-minded friends and just get a break.
You, too? Then use this 10-step plan to get the hell out of town:
- How will they miss you if you never leave? The initial excitement of a trip might give way to second thoughts: Is it really OK to leave the kids? To dump everything you handle with aplomb on your husband, mother, aunt…? You betcha! It’s healthy for kids to know that there are other adults that can help them and it gives those adults and kids bonding time. It’s also a great lesson that sometimes mommy goes away but then she always comes back.
- Assemble your posse: Grab 2-5 friends and threaten them with spa time, hiking, progressive meals, knitting, whatever sounds fun. Groups cohere into a fun energy; too large a group means that decision-making becomes harder, and so does dividing hotel rooms.
- Mark your calendars with indelible ink: It may be tough to find a mutually open weekend. Try. None available? Try harder. You could be planning out a few months, but then you have something to anticipate. Once you find that weekend, make sure everyone – this includes spouses and babysitters! – marks it on their calendar. If you avoid making it a “loose” plan, future events can’t encroach on that time so easily. Then your most disorganized friend can’t plan their child’s birthday party for the same weekend.
- How far away? If you are traveling by car, I highly recommend that your destination be a few hours out of town. Too close and it’s easy for someone to delay leaving. It’s the syndrome of, “I’m just going to quickly carpool the kids home from the game, go to the store, feed them dinner, fold some laundry, send emails and I’ll catch up to ya’ll real soon…” Traveling is part of the trip and when you’ll do lots of chatting and catching up. Who wants to miss out on that?
- Ultimate destination: You may be lucky enough to have access to a cabin or vacation home, so the destination is obvious. Or the time of year may broaden or narrow options: My friends and I have generally gone away during chilly, rainy springs in the Seattle-area, so we’ve stuck to cities like Portland and Vancouver. Do some brainstorming among friends: Where do you all agree you’ll have fun? Make a choice and book it.
- Think green: Finances can be a touchy subject among friends. There is nothing worse than friends deciding for others how to spend their money. To avoid conflicts that cast a pall over your weekend, get your group’s input upfront on how much they are willing to spend for lodging, meals and activities. It may be better to pass on the 4-star lodging so that each of you has more budget wiggle room during the trip for that spontaneous hot-air balloon ride, unexpected martini bar, or crazy-flattering dress you spy in the store window.
- Back to finances: Unless you or a friend is super wealthy and generous (lucky you!), you’ll want to establish a method for dividing shared expenses. On recent trips my three friends and I have struck upon an easy and fair approach: we ease paying restaurant and hotel tabs by taking turns paying the full bill and saving the receipts. At the end of the trip, we calculate a) the total, b) what each paid individually, and c) each person’s difference from the total divided by four. It’s interesting how closely we usually come to an even distribution; those that have overpaid are reimbursed by those who were short. A method like this eliminates that uncomfortable feeling that one person isn’t pulling their weight in the group.
- Preparing to ditch: Depending on the age of your kids and whether you hold another job, preparing for the trip can feel exhausting. You might wonder if it’s worth it to make all these extra arrangements just to be gone a couple of days. Don’t worry, it is. Besides the camaraderie of your friends, you’ll feel that sensation of freedom…freedom to sleep in, to eat out every meal if you wish, to not decide what others in the family will or should eat, and so on. By the end of the trip, you’ll be wondering when you can get away again.
- Do a little extra: Yes, your spouse and older kids are perfectly capable of managing without you. They may not want to, but they can. However, doing a few things to facilitate a smoother weekend for them will pay off for your next girls’ weekend (you will want more!). My husband can make the kids dinner, but I know what a pain it is making that quick trip to the store with the kids in tow, so I make sure that the refrigerator is at least stocked with staples (but I certainly don’t prepare meals for them in advance, because that is not the expectation I want to set!). And, yes, I did make sure the kids’ baseball uniforms were washed and ready for the games I was going to miss. This is also a good time to convey to your family how you expect the house to look when you return, whether completely clean or with at least a clear path from the door to the family room.
- Come prepared with an easy cocktail recipe: One of the most crucial steps in my opinion. You may not want to limit yourself to just one cocktail choice, but here is a great starter sangria. It’s easy and you can find the ingredients in nearly any kind of store. Pour each travel partner a glass and toast to your awaiting adventures!
Simple White Wine Sangria
Recipe from Stacy Slinkard at About.com’s Wine Guide
- 1 Bottle of white wine (Riesling, Albarino, Chablis, Gewurztraminer, Pinot Gris, Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc)
- 2/3 cup white sugar
- 3 oranges sliced, or substitute 1 cup of orange juice
- 1 lemon sliced
- 1 lime sliced
- 1/2 liter of ginger ale or club soda (ginger ale for those with a sweeter tooth!)
Pour wine in the pitcher and squeeze the juice wedges from the orange, lemon and lime into the wine. Toss in the fruit wedges (leaving out seeds if possible) and add sugar. Chill overnight. Add ginger ale or club soda just before serving.
If you’d like to serve right away, use chilled white wine and serve over lots of ice.
Punch it up: Add any number of additions to change up the recipe above, such as sliced strawberries, peaches, handful of fresh blueberries, raspberries, kiwi, a shot or two of gin, brandy or rum, or a cup of citrus-flavored soda pop.
Janice (a.k.a. ICE) blogs weekly about her excursions into cocktail-making at www.iceclinkdrink.com.
Because he loves going to pubs to watch sports games… not with the boys, but with ME!
He rubs my feet every single night.
He carries the kids from the living room to the bedroom every single night at bedtime. Even though I am sure he is in ample amounts of pain by the time he gets to kid #4… or maybe even #2…
He loves all kids.
He loves all vampires.
He cannot follow even the simplest plot line on a TV or Movie. This makes me look like a freakin’ genius — especially if I actually PREDICT the ending, which I have taken to writing down and putting in an envelope to be opened after the finale so as to not ruin it for him.
He can do Calculus but struggles with dividing up a single quesidilla amongst 5 kids.
He never ever yells… at anyone.
He calls Emme “Sweet Girl” and there in no one she would rather be with than him.
He has amazing blue eyes, killer biceps, and a sexy jawline.
He tries harder than anyone I know.
He loves 80′s power ballads. Especially, “My Heart Will Go On” from the Titanic soundtrack. Could I even make that up?
He can turn the simplest conversation into a science lesson.
He learned to love baseball just for me.
He is deeply kind.
He works two demanding jobs so I can stay home with the kids.
He loves me not in spite of my cantankerous side but because of my cantankerous side.
His favorite students are the ones on the fringe, the ones who have lost hope in school… and then he wins them over.
That even though he turned 39 yesterday, he thinks he can pull-off looking like he is in his mid-20′s by donning a hat and baggy shorts.
Happy Birthday, honey, I love you!
Tuesday, June 15th started off pretty well….
5:30am – Dave leaves to get to his 7:30am job interview in city located 25 minutes south.
7:00am – Emme wakes up a bit early, so I choose to forgoe my early shower (afterall, grandma is in town so I will have time later!).
7:20am – Stumble downstairs. Jade is all ready for school and Ty and Emme and Grandma are all waking up slowly in the living room. I grab a cup of coffee and settle in for what should be a nice, well-planned day. I say a little prayer for Dave that his interview goes well.
7:59am – Jade leaves for school.
But then…
8:00 am – Ty informs me that he played a joke on daddy and has hidden daddy’s keys. What? Where?
8:01am – Ty reveals Dave’s work keys to the school and classroom, plus his ID badge. I have an “a ha” moment about the remark last night when Dave said, “I can’t find my keys.”
8:03am – Text Dave, “Ty hid yr keys. We have them here if U need them.”
8:05am – Dave calls to inform me that they moved his interview back to 9:15am and that he is on his way home to get his keys. I do mental math (not my strong point, by the way) and realize by the time he gets home, he will have only about 10 minutes before he will need to get back into his car and head back to his interview.
8:07am- Izzy asks me, “Will you flat iron my hair for 6th grade graduation today?” Yes, go get flat iron and plug it in in Jade’s bathroom where there is more counter space.
8:08am – Load Izzy and Lily’s fancy dresses into garbage bags because it has started pouring down rain.
8:10am – Izzy and I head down to bathroom to work on her hair. Ty trails behind us to watch.
8:11am – Ty touches the hot part of the flat iron. Screams, “I touched it on accident!!!!!” I pick him up and run to the other bathroom because Jade’s sink backs up really easily. Run finger under cold water for several minutes. Carry sobbing 5 year old to kitchen and put on bandaid. Hold him. Carry him back to Jade’s bathroom
8:15am – Dave arrives home. Ty runs from bathroom to get a hug from Daddy. I begin flat ironing hair.
8:19am – Flat ironed hair looks pretty darn good.
8:20am – Walk down the hallway and question Dave’s outfit choice for interviewing. I run upstairs to the closet to see if I can do better. I can’t.
8:22am – Return downstairs to Ty and Emme screaming in Dave’s arms. Loudly. I don’t ask.
8:23am – I sit on big chair and go into an alternate universe where they have unicorns.
8:26am – Microwave my coffee and take my first sip.
8:29am – Dave starts to leave, but kids are still screaming. I got it, I say. Just go. Oh, and good luck on your interview.
8:30am – Ty tackles me on the big chair. Cries some more. I use deep breathing techniques to get him to relax. Emme decides to walk around the living room with a dishtowel over her head and discovers that this can cause her to run into things.
8:35am – Izzy and Lily (remember them?) gather stuff to get ready for school.
8:45am – Neighbor girl shows up to pick up Izzy and Lily and they head out the door.
And to wrap it all up…
8:45am to 1:15pm – a short hiatus where I debrief Dave’s interview, finally get my shower, throw in a load of laundry, eat breakfast, fix lunch, put Emme down for a nap, put on nice clothes for aforementioned 6th grade graduation, pack a snack and camera for the afore aforementioned graduation, help grandma pack a picnic for upcoming swim meet, watch Ty’s “battle show” on TV.
2:00 to 5:30pm – All 8 of us (including Grandma Bloo) attend a 90 minute 6th grade graduation where Emme tries to steal the show multiple times by shouting “YA YA” at the top of her lungs and performing 1 year old dance moves to all the music from the slideshow. Then Grandma, Dave, and I put hands in a circle and yell “BREAK” and run in three different directions. Me to dentist with Jade and Ty, Grandma to swim meet with Izzy and Lily, Dave to home with Emme. We exchange seven texts and four phone calls between us — none while driving — and I finally arrive home before the rain starts up again only to read an email that reveals that Lily is on the wrong soccer team for the Fall. Seriously?
5:31 to 7:38pm – Eat some form of food, have talk with Dave about why he doesn’t take me on fancy dates any more, discover there is no toilet paper in our bathroom, and realize the underwire in my bra is trying to empale me.
7:39pm – -Open beer.
7:40pm – Make a mental note to not forget anything on tomorrow’s agenda.
7:41pm- Drink beer
The End. Well, not really.
A few weeks back, I read a great article on MOM LOGIC by author, business woman, and mom, Shari Storm. I normally do not get wowed with lists of things to do that will make my life better — I know I need to recycle, to work out, to eat green leafy veggies, etc etc. But I really really liked this article. In a large part to the fact that Shari is a mom to three beautiful girls and a head-honcho at a credit union and a published author (see MOTHERHOOD IS THE NEW MBA). So, she kept it really real. I love that. I also love that when I requested to borrow her article, she sent it right along to me. So, be sure to comment and let her know that her article is a good one, cuz it is!
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30 Habits That Will Change Your Life by Shari Storm
Today I read, with great interest, Oscar Del Ben’s post, “30 Habits That Will Change Your Life.” I nodded my head at each and every one of them. Then I slammed my laptop shut in frustration: Clearly, it was written by a man with no kids.
NO WAY can a mother even attempt to achieve any of those things. I mean, when would I feed the kids, take them to their dance lessons or, oh, I don’t know … talk with them?
But the article sat on my mind and sat on my mind.
Maybe I could, if I just ….
So I’m taking his 30 habits and making them mom-friendly.
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