Do You Know Your Husband?

§ June 15th, 2010 § Filed under Stories § Tagged , , , § 1 Comment

On our recent vacation to Whidbey Island, I found these little quiz books at the local “everything” shop.

Do You Know Your Wife?
And because I have a devilish sense of humor, I bought them.  When Dave saw them he said, “Oh Great” and then he prepared himself for the worse.
These are the kind of questions I had to answer about him:
#2 Does he have his tonsils?
#9 What is his shoe size?
#42 How many times a day does he brush his teeth?
These are the kinds of questions he had to answer about me:
#5 What is her favorite color?
#11 How often does she shop for groceries?
#36 Has she ever used a power saw?
See, it starts off innocent enough, and I have to say both Dave and I were doing quite well on our respective quizzes. 
#73 Which one of these CAN’T she do?  A.) Touch her toes  B.) Stand on her head  C.) Jumpstart a car or D.) Rewire a lamp. 
Uh, yeah, I can’t do any of those…
 
How about these:
#48 Does she know who Pythagoras was?

Whatever…

#14 Would he like to ride into space?
Totally, he would be there in a second.  I, however, have to be drugged to ride in an airplane.

But then a few zingers found their way into the game, for example:

#26 Which one of your women friends does he find the most attractive?

Let’s just say I got that one right.  Not because he admitted it, but because he turned bright red and opened a beer.

#89 Is there anything  you (he) can do that SHE can’t?

No.  I can even pee standing up, if required.  Oh, wait, he can swim the butterfly.  Take it from me, my butterfly is pretty darn ugly.  I also cannot do calculus. 

#43 What would she say about the idea of a strip club a mile from your home?  A.) “Where do I sign to protest?”  B.) “Makes no difference to me!”  C.) “Great!”  or D.) “Hmmm, Wonder if they are hiring?”   Well, since the high school I used to work at is RIGHT NEXT to a strip club (I kid you not), I am gonna go with C.  Okay, just kidding.  

Of course, now when some creep out ther googles “strip club” my blog will come up.  Lovely.

So, if you are bored this summer and looking to torture your husband, pick these little gems up.  Or better yet, give them as wedding gifts.  The groom will thank you, I am sure.

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