Happy Anniversary to Me! It was one year ago today that I launced my first post here on MamaBloo. 298 people visited my blog that day!!! Since that first post, MamaBloo has published 129 more posts on this blog and received over 425 comments. MamaBloo has had over 17,300 page views and those views come from all 6 continents. But not Antartica. No penguins here.
But more than the numbers, this past year has been one of exploration for me. One that first day when I went “out there” and live with my blog, I have placed a part of myself in my reader’s hands. It was not easy for me to open myself up through my craft — to expose my writing and my life to anyone and everyone. I have struggled with what it means to talk about kids on a public forum — to put their names nad faces out into the world for anyone to see (some may say that once we appeared on national TV the horse was outta the barn on that one!!). I have to face my own inner demons of what kind of approval I have needed from my own readership, soaking up comments like a comment-glutton. I have studied Google Analytics (which tells one how many people are visiting one’s blog) and I have also walked away from statistics and fasted for months — not knowing if anyone anywhere ever read a word I was writing — and contemplating whether or not that was even important. I have been pursued by advetisers, product reviews, even other bloggers, to put up posts about what they want.
But a year ago blogging wasn’t really an option. I mean, I had to start this blog. I was bursting to write, to document my family, to put my thoughts “out there.” I knew that starting a blog was a MUST the day Dave decided to perform a dubious (at best) home surgery. A few years back we discovered that much like Chandler on the show Friends it seemed that Dave had grown, well, a third nipple. He liked to call it his “love bump.” So, one day he got tired of it and asked the family at the dinner table, “Who would like to cut off my love bump??” The look on my face communicated, what kind of freakin question is that to ask of these lovely, genteel children? But, I was wrong. Lily (age 7 at the time) was all for it. So, the two of them grabbed the fingernail clippers and scurried down the hall to the bathroom, where all home-surgeries are performed. The rest of us hid under a blanket. I then knew that I needed a blog.
But more than the personal rewards that come with writing, it has been a good discipline for me to write regularly. Some weeks I have to force myself to sit down and try to come up with something to say. Some weeks stories just burst out of me. I have had to be very open to the process of creation through writing. And that process has opened me up to myself.
But now it is more of an option. I sit here tonight wrestling with where to go from here. I feel pulled to both keep the blog going and to stop and take a break. I honestly cannot say which is right for me. I keep looking for a sign to tell me where to go. When I was younger, I used to ask God for signs that went something like this, God if you want me to do this thing, make a blue bird land on my windowsill in the next 10 seconds. Yeah, seriously. I can picture God listening to me and saying, “Yeah, seriously? I am not a performing pony. But I like your creativity.” The blue bird never seemed to come and I have learned since that “signs” do not usually come on demand. Instead they require an atuned ear to the universe that is sometimes hard to muster inbetween diaper changes, band concerts, dinners, clean ups, and sore feet. But I do trust that the path will be revealed.
But no matter what happens, on this lovely first birthday slash anniversary, I want to say THANK YOU to all my readers. Your comments have meant so much. You subscriptions have meant so much. Just knowing that there are people “out there” reading my words has meant so much. Truly. Each reader has been a blessing to me in his or her own way. I really have such a great group of readers — some of you I knew before, some of you I have met since I started this journey. You have all treated me with kindness and honestly, and I love you all.
So, here’s to all of YOU! The thousands of you who have shared this last year with me. Thank you and Cheers!!!!
