Professional Gleaner
My husband will eat just about anything. What he considers food, most of us would consider garbage. Last year when we were unpacking boxes from our storage unit, Dave found a bag of half-eaten tortilla chips (why these were stored is anyone’s guess). Right there in our garage, he opened the bag and started munching away. If one of the kid’s friends drops a half eaten piece of pizza on the dirty floor, Dave merely picks it up, walks it into the entryway – presumably to hide – and polishes it off. Crusts off of baloney sandwiches? Merely an appetizer for him. The flakey stuff in the pan after scrambling eggs? Delicious. Past the expiration date? No problem.
I am convinced that in Bilbical times he would have made it as a professional “gleaner”.
I will call Dave after the next slumber party for clean up duty!
My Dad is the exact same way. I recently caught him eating a hot dog off grill that had been left there overnight. He one time accidently ate a bug when he was picking up crumbs with his finger trying to get every last morsel. This kids call him Grandpa the Garbage Disposal.
If Dave wasn’t the kids coach I would tell them the story and have them come up with a Nick Name but I better not do that since it might be a little distracting if they were calling Coach Dave the Disposal at practice.
I am completely on Dave’s side on this one (not that we have to take sides.) I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to explain to my family that the ‘expiration date’ is not a magic date at which time the food becomes unedible.
…and about eating food off the floor, my grandmother always said, “you gotta eat a peck ‘a dirt in your lifetime.” My kids hate it when I say that.
ooo, I think I see half of a donut sitting on the top of the garbage. Gotta go!
The comments today are HILARIOUS! Kelly, we have now adopted your grandmother’s saying. Dave sprung it on the kiddos tonight at dinner. We love it already. Michelle, the story about your dad finding the hotdog has had me chuckling all day… seriously. And, Karen, do not invite him… he will take you up on it and then you will be appalled… truly.
ok, I just read this post out loud to my 11 year old, 18 year old, and husband, and we were all laughing out loud! Thank you!