And it is my own fault.

My word kept banging on my door… and I kept denying it. 

Which is ironic, because my word is OPENNESS!

This word is about the SCARIEST word in the world for type-A, control freaky, organizational-nuts like myself.  There are a lot of unknowns in my life right now and if I had my way I would orchestrate it all… every detail unfolding in some master plan to rule the world (insert eville laugh here…).  But, I don’t think that is gonna happen… not for lack of trying, mind you.  I could organize the entire to/from school carpool for next Fall (yes…September…) right now, today, and send it out to everyone. But I am pretty sure my friends and neighbors would send in the men with the white coats… I mean, there is planning and then there is trying to be a demi-god.

I have to admit, at first I was holding out for a different word.  “That is NOT my word,” I kept saying.  But, alas, it IS my word. I have never really thought of myself as a closed-off person.  But, with so much up in the air for my family in 2010, I think I need a reminder to hold my sense of control loosely, to remember there is more out there then what I can personally anticipate. So, OPENNESS is about letting go of control, and trusting that the path is clear of obstacles (well, at least “too many” obstacles) and to let my heart, my God, and the universe lead me to all that goodness waiting for me and us.  I don’t really have much of a map, and I guess I don’t need one… well, at least that is what “openness” is trying to convince me of, anyway.

Okay.  So.  I am OPEN to whatever comes. Openness has an inherent quality of TRUST, of FAITH, of CONFIDENCE, and of HOPE to it.  I think I can live with that.

Here are a few definitions that hit home:

1.  Generous, liberal, or bounteous

2.  Unguarded by an opponent

3.  Free of navigational hazards

4. To render accessible to knowledge, enlightenment, sympathy, etc.

5. To unfold or expand, as a blossom, so as to reveal the interior

I really feel that 2010 is going to be an incredible year.  But, I have no idea how that is going to manifest.  So, I am open.  Let’s see what happens.

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