MamaBlooMarriage. Motherhood. Life.

Lucky Number 13

§ November 2nd, 2010 § Filed under Articles § Tagged Articles, holidays, power of women, teens, women § 6 Comments

When Izzy was born,  she was taken into the recovery room and we all had to whisper, turn the lights down low, and she simply settled in to the sound of her daddy’s voice.  Now, here we are…13 years later.

In a lot of cultures and religions there are rites of passage that mark the passing from childhood to adulthood — the bar mitzva, the quinceanera, etc.  But the it seems like this ritual is missing from so many of our lives.   Especially for girls.

Enter the 13.

This idea was thought up by a friend of a friend and a former co-youth leader of mine that noticed this deficit and decided to do something about it.  It goes like this.  When a girls turns 13, she gets a party.  But not a party full of other teens brimming with emotions and hormones.  A party full of adult women.  Women who will say to her:  you are valued,  we are with you, we love you.   Think The Red Tent but in the suburbs. 

So, last weekend was Izzy’s 13.  She had been looking forward to this weekend away since her big sister turned 13 a year and a half ago. 

Fourteen of us packed up and drove to the mountains and nestled into a cabin.

We then told her of her value, her worth.  We formed a circle of women around her.  We read to her the Word of God.  We gave her gifts.  We prayed. We showered her with advice. We cried. 

And then we partied.  We ate lots and lots of carbs.  We played party games.  We decorated our hands and feet with henna.  We created an art project so she could carry this weekend with her forever. We laughed until our sides and our faces hurt.  And we kept it PG-13…barely.  When we got in the van to leave, Izzy burst out with “That was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much fun!”  It was like she had been waiting all weekend to tell me that; to get Jade and me alone so she could reveal how awesome everything was.  And it was.  We not only told her that she was wonderful, we showed her what it was like to be a woman.  To cook together.  To talk about the things WE wanted to talk about.  To sit all huddled in front of the fire.  To show her the sisterhood that will, indeed, get you through your life intact.

When it was my turn in the circle, I reminder her of the words of Jesus, “You are the Light of the World.” 

And she is.

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To see more pictures from the weekend, click here to go to Christiana Childers Photography.

And Then She Was 14

§ March 23rd, 2010 § Filed under Articles § Tagged big families, holidays, power of women § 9 Comments

Yesterday was Jade’s 14th Birthday:

I remember the day she was born.  I had to rent a car and drive to my hometown in order to be there for her birth.  I was lucky that I worked for someone at the time who valued important family events over whatever it was that I would have gotten accomplished that day.

We waited and waited and waited outside the room. I literally had my ear pressed to the door of the room when I heard her very first  little baby cry.  I held her only moments later and I thought, “Oh My God (not OMG, but a real prayer) this is unconditional love.  This is it!”  I was completely stunned at the feeling.  I would never love anyone the way I love her because she actually TAUGHT me to love. Just by being born.

Now she lives with me and is my oldest.  Everyday I hope that I am “enough” for her — that although I cannot replace mom and dad, that she knows I love her so deeply, so profoundly that even when I want to pull my hair out over “8th grade girl-ness” I would never want anyone but her as my oldest. I cannot believe that 14 years has gone by and that she is so close to entering high school.  As I sat on our big chair with her tonight after the family birthday party,we thumbed through her brand new cookbook and tried to find a good recipe for to try.  It felt a bit like hanging out with a friend. She has always been a kindred spirit. We are both alpha females, both emotional, both resistant to change and both sarcastic to a fault.

A year ago for her 13th birthday a group of women gathered around her and proclaimed her value, her worth, her preciousness before us and before God.   

I am so glad I don’t have to do it alone and that there is an amazing collection of women to embrace her and remind her of her worth.  

I mean, other than the fact — as is so very obvious in the photo — that we’re a bunch of hooligans-turned-party animals. 

So, Happy Birthday Jade.  You are dearly loved.