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Normally, I love the Pumpkin Patch. But this year the phrase “pumpkin patch” should have been accompanied by a warning sticker…or at least background music that went “dum dum dummmm!” In years past, our beloved trip to the patch was at this lovely little working farm. We were the only school there, there was a worm barrel, a few animals to look at, and small little pumpkins to pick. It was, well like I said above… lovely. So, when our beloved farm closed its door to school pumpkin patch visits, our school was forced switched to another venue. A venue known as THE FARM — que music… “dum dum dummmmm…”.
With my previous paradigm in place of the lovely local patch, I decided that taking Emme (age 19 months) on Ty’s kindergarten field trip to THE FARM… dum dum dummm… was going to be just fine. It became immediately apparent after our 30 minute drive on fog infested country roads that this was not a farm. This was an amusement park. Designed by Stephen King. Luring peace and pumpkin loving parents to their doom.
The rundown looks like this. First of all, we were there with about 20 other preschools and kindergartens — so about two billion children under the age of 5. Making it a chaotic melee of children moving from station to station on THE FARM…dum dum dumm… while being shouted at by the “farmers” to keep moving, folks. The hayride scared Emme. While all the kindergarten girls picked out cute little purse pumkins, Ty picked out what felt like the world’s largest pumpkin. So I had to enlist our neighbor to carry it because with 28 pound Emme on one hip, the 30+ pound pumpkin was too freakin heavy and it didn’t fit in the grocery bag the school provided. Some may say, why did you let Ty get such a big pumpkin. I DON’T KNOW is the answer. It make sense in the intial nano-second and then I was committed. The picture doesn’t do it justice.
After the hayride and pumpkin search, there was a hay maze which ended in a slide from the top of the barn. The attendant asked for two parents to “man the slide.” After the first kids went down the slide, it became obvious that “manning the slide” was code for “try not to let any kids kill themselves while shooting off the end of the world’s fastest slide into a pile of hay.” These kids were like wellie-clad bullets coming off that thing. Ty stood at the top of the slide for quite some time before risking his life to exit the hay maze.
I can now feel my sanity exiting THE FARM.. dum dum dummmm… along with my sense of humor and the spring in my step.
We then went to the animal area. Emme loved the giant pig. Ty loved to climb on the tractor –which resulted in a perilous fall where it appeared that he cracked his head on the cement. After barking clone-trooper-esque orders at our neighbor to GRAB EMME, I ran to Ty’s rescue — all the while going over the signs of concussions in my head and calculating how far we were from the nearest ER. As it turns out he miracously didn’t hit his head, only his elbow … and his bum. But his bum was okay, he said, because he was “wearing really tough pants.”
We finally get to the picnic area where Ty is enjoying a POPSICLE of all things. I din’t even care that now we were injecting the kids with sugar, I was just relieved we had made it to a chair. It is at this point that my friend Kristi considers texting our friend Kim (who will be attending the afternoon session at THE FARM..dum dum dummm…) that THE FARM is almost as bad as Chuck E. Cheese. Now, I have a deal with my husband about Chuck E. Cheese. I will carry the children in my uterus for 9 months, undergo surgery to bring them into the world, and then nourish them off of my breast. But HE HAS TO GO TO CHUCK E CHEESE. And from now on he is on THE FARM.. dum dum dummm.. duty as well.
It is at this moment that some yells, “Hey come watch the PIG SHOW!”
Enough said.
One of my good growing up memories of my father is when we would lie on the big master bed in the big master bedroom at our house in Glendale, California. We would lie there on the turquoise and brown bedspread (hey, it was the 70′s) and he would teach me words in Spanish or repeat huge vocabulary words and have me say them and then teach me the meaning of those words. I must have been about five or six at the time. I have to say that it introduced a love of language that I still have today.
A few years back I introduced my own version of the vocabulary game.
Each year, I pick a word or phrase that is organically grown out of our everyday language at home. By this I mean, that I actually have used this word in front of my kids and then said kids look at me askance, wrinkle their browns, and say,”huh?” Anyway, I pick a word and challenge them to use it when speaking to an adult in their lives. IF they can do so, they win the game. At first I thought about delivering some sort of prize to any kid who can pull this off. But, soon it became apparent that the legendary status that comes with using the yearly challenge word appropriately with a teacher or coach is reward enough for my sweet little nerds.
So, a few years back the challenge phrase was “CARTE BLANCHE” — you should have heard the story of Jade going up to her then 5th grade teacher asking her for “Carte Blanche bathroom priveledges.”
In case you were wondering, the answer was “no!”
Last year I picked a phrase I heard Dr. Phil use one time, “No matter how flat you make a pancake, it still has two sides!” Seriously, the kids had to weave that into a conversation with a grown up? Yup. The winner? Izzy. She used it in a book report over the book Swindle
when the protagonists had to break the law, but for a good reason — her 6th grade teacher was there, so it counts. Well done, Izzy, well done.
This year the word is REMISS.
I mean, THAT is a great word.
Think of all the real-word applications. “So sorry, I have been remiss at feeding my fish and, thus, it has perished.” “Excuse me, but I have been remiss in informing you that I need a ride to soccer practice tomorrow.” “Mrs. Smith, I fear you have been remiss in giving me that grade I deserve.” Okay, maybe not that last one.
Or maybe the example I just used moments ago when talking to Izzy, “I have been remiss in telling you that this year’s word is… remiss.”
Nevertheless, my kids will be out there looking for reasons to use the word REMISS. Watch out, they could be looking for you! So, try not to judge them too harshly when they point out that you have been… well… remiss.
We made our peace a long time ago that Ty prefers to sleep with mommy and daddy.
I think in Ty’s first week of life, we realized that this kid may sleep with us until he goes to college. No joke. College.
It complicates certain issues, surely, but, it also has its perks.
Last night I turned the light out and turned toward my sound asleep little boy who was starting kindergarten the next day. I looked into his slumbering face and marvelled at his perfection, his long lashes, his scraggly hair. I thought about how I was probably NOT going to cry when I dropped him off the next morning at kindergarten — really — but right now in the moonlight I wanted to memorize his face, what he looked like the night before. I cuddled in, I felt my heart swell.
My heart swelled just in time for Ty’s right arm to swing around and punch me smack in the nose.
His eyes then fluttered open and he said, “Oh, sorry mommy, I thought you were Lily.”
Holding Up "K's" For Kindergarden
Ah, that first day of school. Isn’t it lovely?
About a week back I shared on Me Ra Koh Photography my technique in capturing the first day of school photos. What was great this year was that the pics turned out so well last year with my “fingers idea” that we all just jumped right into it!
Check it out!
My 9th grader (notice the 9 fingers — which is kinda hard to do, getting rid of that one rascally finger!!!):
Now for my 7th grader (7 fingers) on her first day of junior high. She was nervous…
And then there is my 5th grader. Who, well, just said “Photo the hand!” Luckily a hand has 5 fingers.
Happy Back-To-School everyone!
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