The OOMPH is Gone
It’s been a rough two weeks . A very rough two weeks. So, I have been mostly off the grid — not even able to update Facebook! I have come to the blog several times with ideas about what to write about, but nothing seems to really flow right now. It’s not writer’s block, it’s just that the wind has been knocked out of me and I am not sure how to get the sails up.
Two weeks ago Dave lost his swim coaching job.
Now, I know this is not THAT big of deal in the scheme of things. I do. I really do. I have friends right now that are facing much much worse. But it has just sorta been awful dealing with it anyway.
So the last two weeks have amounted to an emotional roller coaster with a dash of personal betrayal thrown in to make the ride even more stomach clenching. And what we have at the end of it is one more person that we can scratch right out of our wedding pictures (if you are wondering, the scratch count is now at 4…). And one less job.
I would love to go into more detail, but that would be a firmly planted footstep traveling down the LOW road and I am trying to stay if not on the HIGH road, than at least hovering somewhere around “middle road” or “trying-to-avoid-feelings-of utter-vengence” road.
Dave losing this job has taken its toll on us. It wasn’t enough to watch the athletes left behind sob their eyes out or to feel Dave’s passion for swimming fall on unappreciative-boss ears. But now we are left with that emptiness that follows an upheaval. That question of “where do we go from here”? And none of the answers feel that great.
And, I am not good with limbo… with the unknown… with the “what nows?” In fact, I would venture to say that I am very very bad at handling those things. So, a lot of my OOMPH is gone. I know I will come around. I always do. But this is one of those fall-down-scrape-your-knees-and-get-dusty experiences where you just sorta lie in the dirt for a bit, then ya sit up, then you cry, then you crawl over to the grass, then you call your family on the cell phone, and THEN you finally get up, limp home, put the bandaids on, and drink yourself into s stupor before trying again.
But we will try again. Soon, I hope.
Over the last two years I have felt what you are feeling far too many times. My stomach turned over while reading this because no one should have to feel like that.
You and your family are in my prayers.
Remember that for every door that is closed on us, one that is more meaningful and fulfilling will be opened. It’s His plan! :-)
I am so sorry, Kari. I love you and Dave and I will pray you find something even better. Can I just say? Shit.
xoxoxoxoxo
Kari,
Sorry to hear this…I too, know that OOMPH feeling. Job loss or change is so hard on everyone, especially when it’s tied to relationships. You and Dave and your kiddos are in our prayers!
Thank you everyone for your love and support. The biggest blessing in all of this is how much love has poured out on us and totally buoyed and carried us. We are lucky that we still have income from Dave’s job teaching chemistry. But we do need another job in the family to make ends meet and so we are sorta lost as we try to figure that one out…
But again, THANK YOU! We do feel so loved.
I cannot know all that you are all going through. I do trust the mystery that happens in the whispering between poetry and our souls. For whatever your soul(s) may need to say or hear:
Lost by David Wagoner
Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.
Holding you all gently,
Kelly
Knowing things happen in our life never make things better if we know the reason why…because most often we’ll never know the reason why they happened anyway.
I’m wishing you and your family the best this life has to offer, and having gone through a lot of stormy seas myself, believe me, it comes from my heart.
Love and prayers for a better tomorrow,
Susan
Hey Kari. Consider yourself wrapped in a virtual “hug” right now from me with a real one to come the next time I see you. Sorry you’re having to slog through this tough time. I’ll bet as a writer, it’s cathartic to write it down and it will be there to look back on and say, “we made it through with God journeying beside us.” If you and Dave need a date night to walk and talk, peruse a good bookstore with a cup of java, whatever sounds good— I’d love to be Mary Poppins or you can bring Emme, Ty, and whoever is not “too grown up” :) to come on over. I pray for goodness to overflow your way.
Hey there Kari! So sorry to hear that Dave lost his coaching job. Coaching soccer is one of Jason’s passions in life and I know he would be devastated if he were to not be able to coach. I hope that Dave is able to find something else that he is both passionate about and that will help him bring home the extra money that is needed.
As for the betrayal portion… I had a close friend decide at one point she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. I was shaken to the core but ultimately in the end good things came out of it. Course it was not easy to see that in the moment, but further down the road I could look back and see God’s hand in it all.
Thinking about you!
I’m sorry. :(
Jerk faces! This is my public reply and the one behind closed doors is a lot more “Irish”!